Wednesday, December 19, 2012

18.12.12

Woke up to terrible news today. The man who had been battling with cancer has finally been called back to the Lord late last night.

The first thing I did this morning was to read the last few Whatsapp messages that suggested he was in a critical condition. At that, I thought to myself - Thank God. At least he's still hanging in there. 

So I got up from bed, made myself some breakfast and decided to go through the thread of messages (which I regret doing halfway through breakfast), only to discover that I had missed out an important block of info. The part that stated what time he had passed on.

Words alone cannot describe how overwhelmed I was by the devastating news. I re-read the messages to confirm and it all felt as if I was stuck in my own nightmare, with no where else to run to.

I don't know what to say or do. Still dumbstruck, that I am. I feel as if... I have yet to grieve enough. Forever fighting back whatever tears welling up inside of me whenever my family members are around. If I were alone, only God knows how flooded the town would be.

It pains me to know that I wasn't there to say my last goodbye to him. And that his most of his grandkids were nowhere near his deathbed. But I guess what they say is true, that us going back home now wouldn't make much of a difference.

He was a caring man who was forever physically active; always on the go. And I dare say he lived a good life.

Well, at least, I'm glad the pain is all over for you and that you're in better hands. :)

公公, 再见哦.

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